The Gospel According to Jeremy

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Randolph
Smiter Of Iniquity
Posts: 32
Joined: Wed May 24, 2006 1:25 am
Location: Alberta, Canada
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The Gospel According to Jeremy

Post by Randolph » Thu Aug 20, 2009 2:39 pm

1 In the beginning there was the Word. 2 It was a good Word. 3 In fact it was several. 4 Not only did the Word have several meanings, but it was also several words with one meaning. 5 People would verily comment that the Word was indeed meaningful, although sometimes it could be a bit wordy. 6 After a few gin and tonics.

7 And for a time, it was good. 8 Many a lost soul took comfort in the Word and spake its truths that others may know the meaning of the Word. 9 And the meanings of its derivative components. 10 Meaning that they took meaning from pondering its meaning. 11 And meanings.

12 But there came a time of great Iniquity. 13 The many forsook the Word, and slandered the Word. 14 “That Word eh, who does it think it is anyway?” they would say. 15 “How can you be one word and many words at the same time?” they would continue. 16 “It’s well daft innit” they would oft conclude.

17 And in this time of Iniquity, the people did flounder in their nonsensicality. 18 Forsaking the Word, they did fling idiocy far and wide. 19 As an ape is wont to fling the offal that so often emerges from a hindmost orifice. 20 Often it was theirs, but you can never trust apes. 21 An ape stole my bicycle once. 22 Thus it was that the Word was forgotten, and many a “LOL” was uttered out loud. 23 And not in an ironic way.

24 This period of Iniquity did last for many units of time. 25 Hope was lost as official communications from learned men did begin to contain multiple colon parenthesis variations. 26 While they rolled on the floor emitting audible expressions of happiness, there was One who wept. 27 But they did not know that the day of the Smiter was at hand.

28 It was a Surprise.

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