Search found 33 matches
- Wed Jun 14, 2006 11:19 am
- Forum: The Gospel
- Topic: Recogniser of Idiots
- Replies: 0
- Views: 11603
Recogniser of Idiots
Joseph Kynaston Reeves has been inducted into the Smiters of Iniquity as an official Recogniser of Idiots, as per his blog entry on Samuel Sales Saraiva, a confimed idiot.
- Wed Jun 14, 2006 11:12 am
- Forum: The Gospel
- Topic: Wednesdays
- Replies: 2
- Views: 11856
Wednesdays
Declaration : I hereby declare all Wednesdays to be bad days. You are hereby entitled to call people names if you're having a bad day too, as long as it falls within your right to religious freedom without infringing on others' basic human rights. In other words, you are allowed to be rude. Addendu...
- Tue Jun 06, 2006 3:30 pm
- Forum: The Gospel
- Topic: Our Official Position on 666
- Replies: 9
- Views: 29277
- Tue Jun 06, 2006 3:14 pm
- Forum: The Gospel
- Topic: Our Official Position on 666
- Replies: 9
- Views: 29277
Our Official Position on 666
Since this is the 6th day of the 6th month of the 6th year of the 21st century (if you believe the Christian marketing machine), today would be written as 06/06/06 in shorthand. For those of you on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean, you'd write it 06/06/06. The SOI has discovered the secret behin...
- Tue Jun 06, 2006 3:09 pm
- Forum: The Gospel
- Topic: The Dancing Pirates of the SOI
- Replies: 0
- Views: 11063
The Dancing Pirates of the SOI
Some people have asked me what the deal is with dancing pirates. Well, here's the official answer:
Dancing pirates are optional.
Now stop asking me silly questions!
(If you want to buy some stuff to do with dancing pirates, go to http://www.cafepress.com/smiters/)
Dancing pirates are optional.
Now stop asking me silly questions!
(If you want to buy some stuff to do with dancing pirates, go to http://www.cafepress.com/smiters/)
- Mon May 29, 2006 11:10 am
- Forum: The Gospel
- Topic: Official Sabbath Day
- Replies: 0
- Views: 11217
Official Sabbath Day
I hereby declare the Sabbath day to be Thursday. This is because all the other days are already taken. I blame daytime television. Every Thursday, followers of the Smiters of Iniquity are hereby instructed to remember the origins of the universe by participating in daily rituals of working, eating a...
- Mon May 29, 2006 10:05 am
- Forum: Hymns
- Topic: The Smiter's My Smiter
- Replies: 0
- Views: 10601
The Smiter's My Smiter
The Smiter's my smiter, I'll not smite. He smites me down to lie. In pastures green; He smiteth me The quiet waters by. My soul He doth resmite again; And me to walk doth smite Within the paths of smiteousness, Even for his own smite’s sake. Smiteness and mercy all my life Shall surely follow me; An...
- Mon May 29, 2006 9:56 am
- Forum: Hymns
- Topic: How Great Thou Smite
- Replies: 0
- Views: 10353
How Great Thou Smite
O Mighty Smiter, when I in awesome wonder
Consider all the smites thy hands have smote,
I see the smites, I hear the rolling smiting,
Thy smites throughout the universe displayed! (refrain)
Then smites my soul, my Smiter of Iniquity
How great thou smite, how great thou smite!
Consider all the smites thy hands have smote,
I see the smites, I hear the rolling smiting,
Thy smites throughout the universe displayed! (refrain)
Then smites my soul, my Smiter of Iniquity
How great thou smite, how great thou smite!
- Mon May 29, 2006 9:52 am
- Forum: Hymns
- Topic: Smite Me, Smite Me, Smite Me
- Replies: 0
- Views: 10289
Smite Me, Smite Me, Smite Me
Smite Me, Smite Me, Smite Me!
Smiter of Iniquity!
Early in the morning
Our song shall rise to Thee:
Smite Me, Smite Me, Smite Me!
Smiter Smighty!
Smite me in three places
Blessed trinity.
Smite Me, Smite Me, Smite Me!
All followers adore thee
Smiting down their golden crowns
Around the smiting sea
Smiter of Iniquity!
Early in the morning
Our song shall rise to Thee:
Smite Me, Smite Me, Smite Me!
Smiter Smighty!
Smite me in three places
Blessed trinity.
Smite Me, Smite Me, Smite Me!
All followers adore thee
Smiting down their golden crowns
Around the smiting sea
- Fri May 26, 2006 9:44 pm
- Forum: Hymns
- Topic: Smite Me O Thou Smiting Smiter
- Replies: 0
- Views: 10192
Smite Me O Thou Smiting Smiter
Version 1: I've Been Very Bad Smite me, O thou smiting Smiter Smiter in this smiting land. I am weak, but thou art smighty; Smite me with thy smiting hand. Smiter of Iniquity, Smiter of Iniquity, Smite me till you can smite no more; Smite me till you can smite no more. Version 2: Tuesday Night Drin...
- Fri May 26, 2006 7:16 pm
- Forum: The Gospel
- Topic: The Gospel According to Randolph
- Replies: 0
- Views: 11387
The Gospel According to Randolph
Disclaimer: This is the first in a number of thoughts I'm going to commit to the ether of the Internet. Since this is a new religion, I have the right to change my mind. Don't be surprised if I take back something I've said in the past. Here goes: 1 - In the beginning of our timeline, the Big Bang c...
- Thu May 25, 2006 3:29 pm
- Forum: The Gospel
- Topic: The Gospel of Geekdom
- Replies: 5
- Views: 18533
- Thu May 25, 2006 11:19 am
- Forum: The Gospel
- Topic: Food Rules of the SOI
- Replies: 3
- Views: 13592
- Thu May 25, 2006 7:54 am
- Forum: The Gospel
- Topic: Main Objectives of the SOI
- Replies: 0
- Views: 11085
Main Objectives of the SOI
First Disciple Delano has outlined some objectives of the Smiters of Iniquity. 1) The world has gone wrong : Global warming, human trafficking, US double-standards on morality, and people who talk on cellphones while driving, to name just a few of the things that are wrong with this world. 2) Humani...
- Thu May 25, 2006 7:52 am
- Forum: The Gospel
- Topic: Opinion on other religious conflict
- Replies: 0
- Views: 11155
Opinion on other religious conflict
Official viewpoint of SOI on other religious conflicts: Get over yourselves. Life is too short. You have no right to force your beliefs onto other people. You're probably overcompensating for a) a small penis (most religious wars are started and fought by men), or b) low self-esteem. In terms of a),...