Search found 33 matches

by Randolph
Sun May 12, 2024 5:20 am
Forum: Membership
Topic: Disciple Chris is Mostly Carbon
Replies: 0
Views: 12652

Disciple Chris is Mostly Carbon

On BS 18.10.17 (1 May 2024 in the Gregorian Calendar), Disciple Chris took his last breath as a living Mostly Carbon life form, and became a Mostly Carbon group of molecules, as well as our second venerated member of the Smiters of Iniquity.

He will henceforth be known as Smiter Chris.
by Randolph
Sat May 07, 2011 11:51 pm
Forum: Calendar
Topic: Counting System and Calendar
Replies: 1
Views: 29977

Re: Counting System and Calendar

I have decided to name the months after Disciples as they stop breathing. It's as good a reason as any.

Therefore, Month One will be known as Ian.

It will run for 37 days from x.1.1 to x.1.37 (22 May to 27 June in the Gregorian calendar).

Dancing pirates are optional.
by Randolph
Sat May 07, 2011 11:43 pm
Forum: Membership
Topic: Disciple Ian is Mostly Carbon
Replies: 0
Views: 26878

Disciple Ian is Mostly Carbon

On BS 5.6.2 (22 October 2010 in the Gregorian Calendar), Disciple Ian took his last breath as a living Mostly Carbon life form, and became a Mostly Carbon group of molecules, as well as our first venerated member of the Smiters of Iniquity.

He will henceforth be known as Smiter Ian.
by Randolph
Thu Aug 20, 2009 2:39 pm
Forum: The Gospel
Topic: The Gospel According to Jeremy
Replies: 0
Views: 32466

The Gospel According to Jeremy

1 In the beginning there was the Word. 2 It was a good Word. 3 In fact it was several. 4 Not only did the Word have several meanings, but it was also several words with one meaning. 5 People would verily comment that the Word was indeed meaningful, although sometimes it could be a bit wordy. 6 Afte...
by Randolph
Wed Aug 19, 2009 6:31 pm
Forum: Membership
Topic: The Official Membership of the SOI
Replies: 0
Views: 21891

The Official Membership of the SOI

I hereby declare free membership for the first ten disciples in my new religion. Kids, you're going to learn this stuff at school one day, just like I did once upon a time. Now's your chance to be part of something better organised than Christianity, with better food than Judaism, and fewer rules th...
by Randolph
Sun Mar 01, 2009 12:44 am
Forum: Calendar
Topic: Daylight Savings
Replies: 0
Views: 21714

Daylight Savings

The current International Date Line and time zone system allows for an average of four minutes per degree of rotation of the earth, or 240 seconds. If we were to revise our time system with a shorter second, this would create a rounding error with the existing longitude measurements. For every degre...
by Randolph
Sun Mar 01, 2009 12:33 am
Forum: Calendar
Topic: Time System
Replies: 0
Views: 21841

Time System

There are 86 400 seconds in a day, as currently calculated. We will divide the day into two equal parts, each consisting of ten hour periods. Each hour will be 4 320 seconds long. Since there will be 60 minutes in an hour, each hour will be 72 minutes long. What we'd really like is for there to be a...
by Randolph
Sun Mar 01, 2009 12:16 am
Forum: Calendar
Topic: Counting System and Calendar
Replies: 1
Views: 29977

Counting System and Calendar

On 22 May 2009 [GC, or Gregorian Calendar], we entered the Smiter Year BS 4. Traditionally, the counting system has been a simple one: day 1 of the year is .001, day 2 is .002, and so on. In the case of 22 December 2008, the date was 3.215. To simplify matters even further, and to enjoy compatibilit...
by Randolph
Wed Dec 24, 2008 2:55 pm
Forum: General
Topic: Buy Our Stuff
Replies: 0
Views: 33109

Buy Our Stuff

The Smiters of Iniquity Shop is now available. Please buy our stuff at http://www.cafepress.com/smiters/
by Randolph
Mon Feb 18, 2008 9:12 pm
Forum: Hymns
Topic: Smite their hands
Replies: 0
Views: 32619

Smite their hands

Smite their hands
All ye smiters
Shout unto Smiter
With joyful triumph

Smite their hands
All ye smiters
Shout unto Smiter
With joyful praise

Carbon! Carbon!
Shout unto Smiter
With joyful triumph

Carbon! Carbon!
Shout unto Smiter
With joyful praise.
by Randolph
Mon Feb 18, 2008 9:05 pm
Forum: General
Topic: Still going strong
Replies: 2
Views: 22425

Re: Still going strong

We're back, and on phpBB 3.2!
by Randolph
Thu Jul 13, 2006 4:48 pm
Forum: General
Topic: Still going strong
Replies: 2
Views: 22425

Still going strong

Even the creator of a new religion has problems. This time it's JustConnect's inability to provide a service to install a Sentech antenna at the Smiter's new home. Thus, the leadership is without Internet until further notice. We are still here however, and preaching the Word of Smiting.
by Randolph
Wed Jun 21, 2006 10:20 am
Forum: The Gospel
Topic: Like it or lump it...
Replies: 2
Views: 21393

I don't know if you noticed, but this monster repented, and now he's resigning from Microsoft. He may yet make an honorary member of SOI as Bill The Repenter.
by Randolph
Wed Jun 21, 2006 10:17 am
Forum: The Gospel
Topic: The first Revelation according to Rick
Replies: 1
Views: 17410

Welcome, Revelator. Thank you for taking the time to bless us with your dream. Or description thereof. Or rather, your description thereof.
by Randolph
Wed Jun 14, 2006 4:34 pm
Forum: Membership
Topic: Profile: Randolph West
Replies: 0
Views: 21294

Profile: Randolph West

Randolph was born on the banks of the Iddle I Po River on 22 December 1196.

They currently live in a cloud castle with their husband Marinus, the High Priestess of the Smiters of Iniquity.

They have 47 children, all natural births.